| Yesterday was awesome beyond belief |
[24 Sep 2004|01:30pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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SO, I WENT TO SCHOOL AND MY MOTHER CAME AND GOT ME AT LIKE 11:10. SO BEFORE WE GOT ON THE HIGHWAY WE WENT TO DUNKIN DONUTS AND GOT BREAKFAST WHICH WAS BAGELS. THEN WE GOT ON THE HIGHWAY, WE WERE ON I-91 SOUTH FOR FOREVER, AND THEN WE GOT ON I-95 BUT WE THOUGHT WE WERE ON THE WRONG ROAD SO WE WERE FREAKING OUT AND YELLING AT EACH OTHER. BUT YEAH, I SAW A BILLBOARD THAT I RECOGNIZED, SO WE WERE ON THE RIGHT ROAD ALL ALONG. THEN MONICA CALLED AND I TOLD HER THAT WE WERE ABOUT 6 EXITS FROM WHITESTONE BRIDGE BUT THEN WE TOOK THE WRONG ROAD AND ENDED UP IN SOME BUTTHOLE TOWN. SO I WENT INTO WHAT ELSE, A DUNKIN DONUTS AND I ASKED A COP FOR DIRECTIONS. I KNOW, SO HARD TO BELIEVE, A COP IN A DONUT SHOP. BUT ANYWAY..WE GOT ON THE BRIDGE, WENT OVER IT, AND THERE YA GO. BUT THEN WE COULDNT FIND MONICA'S STREET SO WE HAD TO ASK AGAIN, SO EVENTUALLY WE PULLED ONTO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD IN FRONT OF A GROCERY STORE AND A LIQUOR STORE. MONICA CALLED AND SAID SHE WOULD MEET US RIGHT THERE. SO WE WAITED ABOUT TEN MINUTES AND THEN SHE CAME. SHE MET MY FAMILY AND SHE THOUGHT THAT MY MOTHER DIDN'T LIKE HER BUT IN REALITY MY MOTHER WAS UPSET AND ME AND SHE WAS UPSET AT NEW YORK. YEAH. SO THEN WE WENT TO THIS LOCAL PARK LIKE 50 STEPS FROM HER HOUSE. BUT YEAH. WE WENT OFF ON OUR OWN FOR A LITTLE BIT TO THE FRONT STEPS OF AN APARTMENT BUILDING WHERE I WAS SUPPOSEDLY TEASING HER BY RUBBING MY HAND ON THE INSIDE OF HER THIGH. BUT YEAH. THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE BIT OF KISSING GOING ON. ;) ANYWAY...YEAH. THEN WE WENT TO SEE IF HER SISTER WANTED TO COME TO THE PARK BUT SHE WAS EATING SO I WALKED WITH MONICA DOWN TO THE GROCERY STORE SO SHE COULD GET A SODA. THEN WE WENT BACK TO THE PARK. THEN WHEN WE WERE ABOUT TO LEAVE, KATIE WANTED TO GO, TO THE GIFT SHOP. SO MONICA, SARAH, AND KATIE WENT THERE. BUT THEY WERE TAKING FOREVER SO I WENT TO GET THEM. NOT A GOOD IDEA. ME AND MONICA ENDED GOING TO THE BACK OF THE STORE AND ENGAGING IN "EVENTS" TOGETHER, THAT JOEY WALKED IN ON. THEN WE WENT TO MY MOMS CAR. AND WE WERE SITTING IN THE BACK SEAT, BUT BEFORE ANYTHING COULD GET STARTED WHO COMES? MOM AND KATIE. AND THAT SUCKED. BUT THEN WE HAD TO SAY GOODBYE AND THAT ALMOST MADE ME CRY. I GOT IN THE CAR AND SHE KISSED ME THROUGH THE WINDOW. THEN WE LEFT. IT WAS SAD LEAVING. I REALLY JUST WANTED TO STAY THERE. YEAH. BUT IM HAPPY THAT WE GOT A LOT OF PICTURES THAT I CAN PUT ON MY WALLS AND IN MY WALLET.
I LOVE YOU MONICA, WITH ALL OF MY HEART.
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[21 Sep 2004|10:05am] |
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mood |
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 horny |
] |
In the library, during study. Boring as all mother fucking hell. Mallory might be going on Thursday. If she does well on her pirate paper. Yup. That's all I have to say besides.......
I MISS YOU MONICA. *MUAHZ*
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| Turn off your high beams you fucking asshole |
[17 Sep 2004|09:42pm] |
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mood |
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horny |
] |
So, I got home from school and I chilled for a little bit. Then my Aunt Kathy came to get Katie cuz they are going camping for the weekend. Yup, so then we ran downtown cuz my mom wanted coffee. Soon after Holly and Celina came and goe me. Yup. We went to Northhampton and we went to this cute little Thai restaurant. I got fried ice cream. Mmm..so good. Then Holly went to the whole food store while me and Celina went to Old Navy cuz our bladders were about to throw up. Yup. Then we went to Mickie D's. Ha! Then on the way home we rocked out to Green Day and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Uh huh. And some guy with his god damn high beams on was blinding Holly so I stuck a finger out the window to say hello. :) Good times. Me: *burp* Purple! Holly: White! Celina: Oh yeah. Oh fuck yeah. Oh my god! Ohh..yeah right there. Lol...that game is hilarious. Anyway..yeah.
Peace.
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| Freaking out over the littlest thing |
[13 Sep 2004|10:53am] |
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mood |
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 STUPID |
] |
So..I get to school. I go to english and that's good. I go to psychology, and I go to get my psychology folder and I pull out one of my accounting folders, and I start to freak out cuz I realize that I left the other one at my house. The other one that has all my chapter work in it, and the one that also contains one of my art projects. I was like ahhhh!!!!! But yeah. After I got out of art, I had study so I went to the payphone to call my mother but she didn't pick up, so I called my grandmother, and she was like, "I'll see what I can do." So, I'm still freaking out, cuz ya know, it's only the like 9th day of school and I friggin forgot my shit already. I'm such a loser. Yeah. Well, I'm gonna go. Talk to you later.
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| Sorry everyone....but now it's friends only |
[11 Sep 2004|11:07am] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
] |
If any of ya'll want to get access leave me a message and I'll add you. To all my friends, who read this and don't have accounts, well, I guess you're out of luck unless you make an account and I add you. Sorry guys. Talk to ya'll later.
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| I miss my baby |
[10 Sep 2004|01:57pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
] |
I miss Monica. *sigh* What else is new? I talked to her little sister last night. She's so cute haha. She was like, "Why don't you come live here? Why don't you come watch Jersey Girl with us tomorrow?" I was like aww...maybe I will soon. Yeah. Lol. I don't know what happened last night. She said that something happened to Nicolette(sp) and she hung up. I got so worried but I didnt call back because I figured it wasn't the time. But she called me back later to say goodnight. But I was sad, that I really didn't get to talk to her last night. :( Mallory, Tony, and Jessica are looking at costumes online since this year we're seniors and we get to wear our costumes to school. I don't know what I'm going to do. Probably Dracula...or I was gonna try and get Marcille, Gillen, and Drew to dress up as Ninja Turtles with me. Yeah. Well I'm gonna go cuz Mallory and Tony are arguing about their "couple costume." Talk to ya'll later.
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| I'm copying Celina and using hyphens |
[09 Sep 2004|01:43pm] |
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mood |
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 indifferent |
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- Monica called me at 4:45 a.m. which made me happy because if I'm going to wake up to anything, I want it to be her voice.
- I slept in til 7:30.
- I had to get up and do my accounting, english, and college writing homework. So easy though.
- Got to school a little late...5 minutes or so
- Was told to go to guidance, so I did, and the secretary sent me to class because Mr. Nicholson wasn't there
- Accounting was okay, got homework, but I did most of it in class
- College Writing was pretty boring. She gave us the rubric for our college essay thing. My question was, "Choose a political event that had an impact on you and explain it." So I'm writing about Matthew Shepard.
- English class which is boring. The class I have the most work to do tonight in. Which includes a trip to Wal-Mart to buy a display board, some notecards, a blue highlighter, and such.
- Went to lunch. Was asked weird questions by some girl. Got freaked out a little.
- Psychology was fun. Had discussions with Karla, and Amy about being gay while Nick stared at me the whole time.
- Now I'm in study with Alison and Jessica. Andy is all the way on the other side of the library which makes me sad.
- Sarah and Andy are coming over tomorrow. And maybe Heather.
- I must pick Sarah flowers up for her birthday. Cuz I told her that her present was living.
- Call Monica...something that I love to do. I mean, who wouldnt want to hear the most beautiful voice in the world, that belongs to the most beautiful girl in the world? Hmm..I know I do.
- Then sleep..but sleep is for the weak. So, probably not. Coffee here I come.
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| Peeling strips from her arm is making her better? |
[07 Sep 2004|09:34pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
We went to visit Sarah today, with a birthday cake for Katie and stuff. Well, her arm was all bandaged up, she used her nails to scrape away perfect strips of skin off her arm. It was gross. She called Monica while we were there, but she must have been busy or something. I'm gonna call her as soon as I'm done with this entry. Yeah. I need a shower too. And I need to do my college writing homework. Yup.
Hey Celina,
Thit!!!!!
Haha.
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| Mallory is kool shit |
[07 Sep 2004|09:55am] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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Mallory is sitting next to me right now. Saying that I type fast, which I dont think I do. Anyway...yeah. Her boyfriend Tony is on the other side of me. Scary huh? Yeah. I'm just afraid that one of them is going to lean over me and suck face with the other one. *shiver* Monica! I miss you! I love you! I need you! I want you! Hehe. Lol, I'm supposed to be doing this update for Mallory, because she told me to. Haha. Yeah. Cuz ya know, Mallorys all weird in the head. Haha. And so is her boyfriend. Haha. Yeah. Why is this about Mallory and Tony? I dont know. I have no life. *shrug*
Make love not war.
Hugs not drugs. (Tony)
Peace
Ps. Mallory, "Christi's like a freaky punky hippy."
(I laugh)
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| No matter what happens she can always make me smile |
[06 Sep 2004|01:45pm] |
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mood |
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 nauseated |
] |
These past 2 days have been super hectic. We have 7 new additions to the family for now (Debbie, Dave, Erica, Kim, Elvis, Sarah, Papa). Lol. Yeah. It is a bit awkward, only because I'm so used to having so much time to myself. But its kool, if I need alone time I can just go in my moms room, cuz no one ever goes in there. Its just nice to be alone sometime, and write poetry or songs, draw, and contemplate everything thats going on. This has definately brought me and Erica a lot closer. We had been drifting apart over the last few months, and now its like a reunion. We're friends again. Looking at her cry makes me want to cry. I just dont think its really sunk into my head yet. There was an article in the paper today, "Child Blamed In Fire." Honestly, who the fuck leaves a little kid alone in a room and goes to sleep? Who? A fucking dumbass. Thats who. But, the town has been really great. They donated a whole lot of stuff. A microwave, a tv, furniture, clothes, food, everything. And a special thank you to Jessica Potter who brought clothes over for Erica last night. And Dave Hansen (and family) who donated $80. But anyway...I wasn't in the best of moods last night, but Monica still managed to get a laugh out of me. I love her so much. It amazes me that she can make me laugh. I've been told by so many people that I take myself to seriously, but she just brings out a whole other side of me. And I'm thankful for that. I love her so much. Well I think I'm gonna go, gotta take a run to Wal-Mart. Talk to ya'll later.
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| Slowly but surely going insane |
[05 Sep 2004|07:02pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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Could someone please give me a reason or two why I should not completely go insane??? No one here can keep me sane. I'm losing it, I seriously am. I mean, ya, I realize that my problems are no where as near as big as some other peoples right now, but none the less, they are big to me. I need my girlfriend, and I need her bad. And no one understands. I am completely surrounded by people in my house, but I feel like no one hears me. I'm sick of people asking about the fire, I'm sick of people offering me help, I'm sick of people hugging me and telling me that everything will be okay. And Erica has said that shes sick of it to. Me and Erica's problem is definately our pride/stubborness. But, its a part of us. We've never been the ones to except help when we need it. And yes, I realize that I probably sound really selfish right now, but the thing is, I dont give a damn.
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| All the walls come tumblin' tumblin' down |
[05 Sep 2004|12:19am] |
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mood |
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sympathetic |
] |
Wow..tonight Celina came over and we talked for a while, she gave me a back rub and we watched American Psycho. Then went over to Ericas house cuz we thought Katie was there but she wasnt, so we walked to Celinas house after we found Katie at the tennis court. Then not even 5 minutes later, we got a call from my mom saying that Erica's house was on fire. So me, Celina, and Katie went home and Erica's house was bursting with flames. Now, all the fire trucks are gone. Ericas house is gone, its completely trashed. Ya know how the whole fire started? An 8 year old got ahold of a lighter and a bottle of lighter fluid and lit a bed on fire and it brought the whole house down. My house was exposed so our houses side was melted, and it wreaks of smoke upstairs cuz there were windows open. Debbie and Dave are spending the night on our living room floor. :( I feel so bad. Well I'm gonna go. I'm trying to get ahold of Monica. Talk to ya'll later.
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| I'm in study hall with Mallory and Jessica |
[03 Sep 2004|01:44pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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Man, today has been boring beyond belief. I was told I look good today, so that made me smile. I have jeans and a black West Coast Choppers shirt on. *shrug* Yeah. Accounting was pretty boring. Then college writing was okay. I had to write a "Get To Know You Essay." Already finished it, but I might rewrite that cuz I messed up a few times. Yeah. English was boring. Me and Becca got yelled at for talking. Haha. I'm sorry Mr. O'Neil, I just cant keep my mouth shut. Hehe. Then lunch I sat with Celina, Jake, Matt, and Rachel. (not my ex Rachel) John Speera took an empty chair at our table and Celina goes, "Um..yeah. Thanks for taking that chair without asking if anyone was sitting there first asshole." Hahaha. Then Jake was like, "I think you need to learn some manners before I teach them to you." Hahaha...it was hilarious. Then it was psych...and we had to answer these questions. And I put as one of them as "People think I am...a flamboyant homosexual." Hahaha. Yeah.
Then my first study and Ms. Bacon taught me some Vegas shuffling. Hehe. Cuz we were playing poker. Haha. Yeah. Now the study I am in now, me, Mallory, and Jessica are in the library. I tried to get ahold of Ma to have her come and get me at 12:30 cuz I had two studies in a row, but she didnt pick up. That made me sad, cuz I wanted to go home and talk to Monica cuz I miss her and I wont be home much tonight. Tonight is Jakes birthday party and then the demolition derby. Maybe I'll skip the demolition derby because I need $$ to get in, and I dont have any. So. Yeah. I miss Monica like whoa. But I know I'll see her next weekend, and hopefully she might be coming to stay here for the school year, which would be awesome. It would be wonderful to wake up and have her in my arms. *sigh* Well I'm gonna go. Jessica wants me to go to collegeboard.com with her. Talk to ya'll later.
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| The first day to the last year of my high school career |
[02 Sep 2004|09:12pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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Today was the first day of school. *yawn* The classes were okay. I had to get my schedule fixed because I had 3 study periods in a row. Haha. But yeah. Monica is coming up next weekend. She is bringing Katie birthday presents. Yup. Jake and Celina are here. Hehe. That makes me smile. Mary should come to visit, cuz she hasnt hung out with me and Celina in a long time. Yup. Well, thats all I have to say. Talk to ya'll later.
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| Why I think that my girlfriend gives good advice |
[01 Sep 2004|07:49pm] |
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mood |
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I miss Monica |
] |
Mom woke me up early so we could go visit Sarah at the hospital. It was alright. The car ride there was most certainly not fun though. Then we got to Lowell and bought a pizza. We went to the hospital. I hate to admit, cuz I tryed to play it off like I didnt miss Sarah at all. But everyone knows thats not true. Yeah. We had some laughs, imitating people from Mad Tv, and making up cheers about stupid shit. Yeah. Then Sarah introduced us to some of the friends she made there. Then we left and the ride home wasn't fun, but after a while I fell asleep. Then after we got home, I cleaned my room. So not fun. :( But anyway...I talked to Monica. And she was shopping. Lol. Yeah. Then I watched The Dark Crystal. I love that movie. Yeah. Then we ate supper. And now here I am. I have like 6 more loads of laundry to do so I better go. Talk to ya'll later.
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| The air has been cleared |
[31 Aug 2004|05:54pm] |
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mood |
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 relieved |
] |
Wow..was there a big misunderstanding. Woo! Devin and me are friends. And only friends. And will only ever be friends. We talked today and I was like, you should hook up with Melissa. And she's like I know I want to soooo bad! Lol. So, now I am going to try to hook Devin up with Melissa. Devin doesnt like me, and apparently she says she never did. Lol. Which is good, cuz I'm 100% in love with Monica. And I always will be. There is no one that could ever fill her shoes in my eyes. No one. I love you Monica. So much. I hope you know that. And Celina adores you. (her exact words) And Jake thinks you're beautiful. (His exact words) Lol.
Make love not war.
Peace
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| Monica, |
[31 Aug 2004|01:58am] |
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I love you soooo much. I cant even put it into words. You're everything I want/need/love. Theres no one that could ever measure up to you. When I saw you my heart skipped a beat and my thoughts raced. You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You're the funniest girl ever. And I love you. (more)
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| I truly couldn't be any luckier |
[31 Aug 2004|01:35am] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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Wow..so I was woken up at about 6:30-6:45 this morning. Got ready and Jake and Celina got here at like 7:30. Yeah. Mapquest bites major ass and fucked up out directions while we were on the highway..so we had to pull over and look at the map. Haha..but we got it cuz we're good like that. But yeah, the hardest part about getting to Celia's house, was finding the house. That was the tough part. But we got there with help from Celia running down the street. Yeah. But we did get there! Woo! Score for the 3 Muskateers! I was walking up the apartment hallway..and I felt like I was going to vomit cuz I was so nervous. But yeah, when I saw her, and I mean, really saw her, I was amazed. She is breath-takingly beautiful. She was just wow...yeah. WOW! Lol. We cuddled and it made me so happy. It felt great to have her in my arms..and to kiss her. *sigh* I miss her. *sighs* When we went outside...I bit her neck. Haha. And it was.....grrreat. Yeah. Then Jake realized that his car had been towed. *long sigh* So..ect. ect. ect..we went by cab to this grimy car place..and got his car. And went home. Haha. Then they came over after we stopped at Jakes house and some weird chick tried to scare me with a plastic skeleton. Mhm. Anyway..now I am home talking to my love. She is beautiful, funny, caring, and a good kisser/cuddler. Lol. I love her sooooo much.
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| Why am I so stupid? |
[29 Aug 2004|03:02pm] |
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mood |
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worried |
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I hate myself. My girlfriend is upset with me cuz I wont tell her how much I weigh. But, I dont tell anyone, so. Yeah. The only people who know are Celina and Sarah. I dont think its important. Its just a number, and from what they've told me, I dont look like I weigh as much as I do. Just like Celina doesnt look she is as much as she is and neither does Sarah. So..I mean. She's going to see me tomorrow so why does she want to know now. I dont know. I'm dumb, I'm an asshole, but I'm a self-conscious asshole. I dont know. I dont know. I guess Monica was right though. She told me that she wasnt shallow and I know that, but you can always tell when someone thinks that its bad. Just the tone of thier voice. We were hanging up and I said I love you and she said I know. She didnt say it back. And that hurt. But, I mean, I guess, Monica is too good for me. I dont deserve her. I'm sure thats what a lot of her friends think and I'm sure thats what a lot of my "friends" think too. So..yeah. I consider myself to be very lucky to be with her. And I dont want her to feel like shes dating a loser. I dont know, this is me ranting about how much I hate myself. Talk to ya'll later.
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| Its times like these that make you think |
[28 Aug 2004|04:50am] |
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mood |
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Disgusted |
] |
Tonight was a shitty night all around. Between Celina being upset, Sarah getting taken away, and making my girlfriend cry because she is afraid for my safety (because of my grandfather), I just had a totally stressed out night. I dont even know what to say. I'm glad everyone is sleeping, because the only people that I could even concieve of talking to right now are Celina, Monica, Mary, Erica, or John. Thats it. No one else. I'm that upset. I dont even think I'll be able to talk to my mom when she gets home. I'm just in a mood. Theres no other way to describe it. Just a mood. No one can talk to me, no one can touch me. Only certain people. Oh my gah, just a horrible horrible night. Tell those close to you that you love them, cuz you never know when something could go wrong. Peace.
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